Women's Health & Mental Health: Healthy Boundaries

Healthy Boundaries

What are healthy boundaries? Essentially, they are flexible guidelines that empower you to have control and agency over your physical safety, emotional space and mental health. Everyone has different boundaries and limits-this is normal! Try to not judge your needs or limits because they are different from someone else. Be self compassionate and kind to yourself as you take inventory of your boundaries. Let’s explore a few areas where healthy boundaries are key.

Energy

Photograph by Annie Spratt

Protecting your energy, both mentally and physically, takes on a new importance when pelvic health is involved. Chronic illness or pain can be an energy drain. The rest period that pelvic pain patients need may vary greatly in order to go to work, school, take care of yourself or your family and maintain relationships with loved ones. 

Tip: Practice sharing assertive and direct statements when you need time to rest. “Thank you for inviting me. I need extra rest today. Are you free next week?”

Time

Photograph by Malvestida Magazine

Covid-19 led many individuals to work from home, blurring the lines of work & home as well as impacting our time management. It may feel more challenging right now to stay motivated as each day feels similar and restrictions do not enable us to travel or interact in our communities like we normally would. 

Tip: Have a “commute” in the morning and evening to mark the beginning and end of your work day. This could be a workout, a walk around the block or calling a loved one while making dinner. 

Value Relationships That Value You

Photograph by Kelly Sikkema

Boundaries enable us to nurture relationships that nurture us back. Whether these relationships are friendships, a romantic partner or family, it is key to reflect on what relationships feel supportive and balanced. Utilize direct communication to express your needs and get creative about showing support for others in your life if in person support is not possible. 

Tip: Reflect on which relationships provide support and understanding during pain flare ups. This indicates that these individuals understand your unique needs. Reflect on how you show support for those people in your life, through things like texts, scheduled FaceTimes or socially distanced walks together. 

Finding Balance

Photograph by Loic Leray

Finding balance between work, school, friends, family and rest is an ongoing work in progress. This daily choice is an assessment of what you would like to accomplish and what you need to get you over the finish line. Having a general schedule can help you achieve your daily goals and create more space for social engagement, rest and self care. Combating stressors can help break the pain cycle.

Tip: Write a list of activities that leave you feeling drained and activities that “fill up” your energy tank. Try to utilize these energy giving activities when feeling unbalanced.

Values Driven Lifestyle

Photograph by Millo Lin

Leading an authentic, values driven lifestyle requires us to make changes in our work, relationships, personal growth and health and leisure activities. These categories create our lifestyle. If you are feeling drained in a job setting that requires much overtime, it is likely that your relationships, personal health and leisure are suffering. Take time to assess where changes are needed to improve your overall functioning and health. 

Tip: Take a look at Russ Harris’ “Clarifying Your Values” worksheet to get started. Reflect on your current functioning in work, relationships, health, and leisure as well as where you would like to make changes.

http://thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/The_Complete_Happiness_Trap_Worksheets.pdf