Growth
Photograph by Hello I'm Nik
“If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation…If the character doesn't change, the story hasn't happened yet. And if story is derived from real life, if story is just condensed version of life then life itself may be designed to change us so that we evolve from one kind of person to another.”
-Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Women’s Health Issues
If there is anything I can guarantee in therapy, it is this: if you choose to share your story with another person-your anxieties, your depression or trauma, there will be moments of discomfort. If you then choose to embark on committing to making changes-to adjust your behaviors and thoughts to improve your current situation or outlook, there is a strong likelihood you will be uncomfortable. Change requires courage, vulnerability and the possibility of failure from time to time.
Reframing unhelpful thoughts about pain or anxiety require practice. This means some days, CBT tools will be incredibly useful and successful in changing the way we think or behave. Other days, the more unhelpful thought patterns or behaviors may win over as these are hardwired into our neural pathways. In order to create change on a neurological level, repetition of utilizing helpful reframes is key to foster lasting change and the solidification of new neural pathways.
Self compassion for yourself during the growth period-the period of change-is so vital. Change is not instantaneous. Change is mindful. Brene Brown’s essence of Rising Strong captures the meaning of growth perfectly: you can choose courage or comfort. But not both. Not at the same time. Growing pains, trying and failing then trying again-these are all part of the process. Growth and change do not happen overnight. Change is a culmination of every small decision we make each day.
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