Relationships

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, our aims are to help clients live “in the bullseye”. This means that together we can evaluate your values, take note of how strongly you are currently abiding by them in all major areas of life (work, relationships, leisure, mental & physical health) and commit to changes in order to help facilitate a values based lifestyle. ACT can be particularly helpful when evaluating our relationships and impact on both physical and mental health. Values are personal and unique to each of us.

Dating

What kind of romantic relationship or partner qualities are important to you? If you value quality time, it is important to seek out partners who share this value. If you value adventure and travel, this may become an important value to prioritize in dating relationships. Perhaps a sense of humor, trust and fun are important qualities in your relationships. Knowing yourself, your values system and which are most important to you can facilitate a healthy and happy dating life while also navigating pelvic health issues!

Co-habitating, Partnership & Marriage

Image of couple engaged on the beach representing challenges of partnership with chronic women's health conditions. Telehealth from licensed professional counselor available in NYC, VA, DC, MD and GA. — Photograph by sergey mikheev

Living with a partner requires cooperation and flexibility. During pain flare ups, if these values are consistent with your life view, you and your partner can approach changes in child care, meal planning or household tasks with flexibility, teamwork and equality. If romance is an important value to you, prioritize date nights together! If adventure is important in your world view, continue to prioritize ways to travel or try new experiences together. Taking inventory of what values are important regarding your relationship can lead to increased feelings of self-fulfillment and satisfaction in your relationship.

Friendships

Image of friends hugging while looking out over the water representing the importance of strong social support when navigating women's health issues. Get CBT and mindfulness tools from a licensed professional counselor. — Photograph by Duy Pham

Close friendships are wonderful gifts in life. When reflecting on your friendships, what common values do you share? Acceptance of the other person, encouragement and trust may be top values for you in your close friendships. As you take inventory of your values system regarding friendships, the friendships you choose to prioritize and invest in may change. If reciprocity is a value you share, you may begin to commit to investing in others who have a shared mutual investment in your friendship. Allow yourself to make space for changes in your values system as life events occur and personal growth continues. Values like understanding and compassion may be important to you in your friendships considering the lens of your pelvic health and mental health.

Work

What values do you prioritize with work? If you value flexibility and creativity, you may thrive being your own boss! If you value order, consistency and schedule then you may thrive in an office setting. It is so helpful to understand the way you work best in order to help align your career with your values. With chronic pain, this may affect your ability to be in an office setting each day. If this is true for you, working from home may align best with your values and what your mind and body needs!

Relationship with the Self

Image of scrabble tiles spelling "Feed your soul" representing the benefits of self care, spirituality and a mindfulness practice when managing mental health and women's health issues like hysterectomy, breast cancer, miscarriage and pregnancy loss. — Photograph by Brett Jordan

Take inventory of what is important in your relationship with the self. Fitness of your mental and physical health can take a toll if not prioritized. Authenticity, creativity, self awareness and self care are all values that relate to your relationship with the self. Spirituality may be a value that you wish to abide in, making time for a daily gratitude practice, prayer or meditation. After reflection, what changes can you make to live a life each day that is more aligned with these values to improve your relationship with the self?

Resources

For an awesome resource to begin your journey in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, check out The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris!

Women's Health & Mental Health: Relationships